Poornima's Realm

Cracks in the Already Hazy Crystal Ball

2010-04-09T13:55:00.000-07:00

Life has its own sense of humor,more HA HA HA's than hahahahahahahaha.
Firstly it takes you by surprise and secondly it leaves you with various facial contortions resembling the joker from the dark knight (who might seem way too handsome in comparison). So you rant, rave, snivel, shrivel and by the time all the drama settles down you wonder what in the bloody hell was it all about. Flummoxed wouldn’t even begin to describe it, fucked-up wouldn’t even cut the grade,maybe FUBAR would sum it up.
Well shit happens all the time and not just in the pot, and wish getting over with it could be as motivational as it was for the kid in slum-dog millionaire..guess even a hard hitting,multi-award winning movie is just that, a motion picture that plays in air-conditioned multiplexes that people watch while stuffing their faces with pop-corns and trying to have intellectual conversations about the state of the world at the same time. Only if things in real life get sorted within three hours, with a sing-a-song-while-dancing routine and yeah with a credit role in the end mentioning all the people responsible for making it the way it is/was..sigh sigh and another double sigh!!!
We have been learning lessons from the time we were born-louder you cry more attention you get,you stumble before you walk,timeouts the price for having 'fun',getting whacked/reviled for not conforming to set rules/norms some sense and a lot balderdash.Know how to break from the cycle and live happily ever-after???....tell that to yourself and let me know if that 'really' works
“Irony, irony, this hate and love, hate and love
What it does to me? What it's done to me? What is done, done?
…'Bout the cracks in the crystal, the cracks in the crystal ball” goes the song and it makes you wonder after all.

AP State Division- one of the BIGGEST idiocies of 21st century politics!!

2009-12-10T11:50:00.000-08:00

A fast unto death that lasted for 10 days, students getting more action out of a campus than in it, absolute disregard and destruction of unrelated public and private property, media coverage sensationalizing it further, a ripple effect throughout the country for more such ridiculous demands, triggering an internet debate ranging from ridiculing the whole thing with every humorous angle possible.
But when the humor leaves and the matter’s still worsening what does one do? When the losses start amounting to crores and the inconvenience caused being priceless what does one do? We are talking about the world’s largest democracy, which a few months ago made history with the General Elections and made the world stand up, take notice and respect India in a completely different light, making the same world look at India now in a profoundly confused manner.
How much harm than good are such demonstrations and political decision making doing? Aren’t such actions regressive to growth?
Are such actions truly for the benefit of the people or is it just plain political greed for economic control and increasing one’s already bulging coffers?
They talk about India’s stand on Global Warming, Nuclear Agreement Deals, Economic Development, China’s land encroachment but where does it leave these things when silly internal policies can create a domino effect throughout the country creating such political instability across regions, with voters questioning themselves over their decisions to bring these very political parties to power!!!
Is secularism just centered to religion and not to culture I wonder? Are these policies based on escapism/hypocrisy/profits for a few or just idiocy I wonder more?

What About now?

2008-06-18T11:30:00.000-07:00

"Change the colors of the sky.
And open up to
The ways you made me feel alive,
The ways I loved you.
For all the things that never died,
To make it through the night,
Love will find you.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
What about now?"

Somethings never turn out to be the way you expect them to,never imagine how ideologies would change to the extent that you hear the rip in relationships and in your heart.The fear grips-the fear of unknown,the fear of losing something dearest to you.
Many a times things don't make any sense, you don't have any constructive explanation to why things happen when they happen but they do and no matter how much we like to live in denial or play down its impact,it still leaves it mark-how big or small depends on how intense you felt for it.
But life and time are the biggest healers as they say and no better meds than that!!

Idiosyncrasies of People-Some We Know Some We Don't!!!!

2008-06-03T13:48:00.000-07:00

Well some things in life happen when you least expect it and it turns out to be the biggest blessing in disguise no matter what your religion is and no matter how it happens!

It might take you by shock, surprise, anger, bewilderment, and whatever gamut of emotions you can identify and feel around the time but when you survive through this emotional hurricane you realize there's actually pretty clear sky around you u however difficult the thought of it might have been at the time.

We live in a world where there are all sorts of people-the wannabes, the has-beens,'the' ones,the wud be's,and what makes them the kind of people they are or becoming or trying hard to be? Is it peer pressure or immaturity or desperation to fit in or plain idiocy that makes one exhibit the said behaviors? One can answer many depending were the team answering lies on!!

Whatever the course of behavior has been all that is finally felt is elation, the freedom from the shackles memory had tied you to. And this very feeling resultant from any suppressed, insufferable behavior of, what a lay man would call as 'jerks' is the very blessing in disguises which opens you to a whole new perspective and takes on things, people. And how ever the experience it is the person who you come out being, is what really counts and the only thing that truly matters.

Cascades of feelings and trillion little things!

2008-03-21T10:59:00.000-07:00

Sitting out on the stairs looking towards the bluish black clouds moving beyond forever with the breeze lifting the cascade of hair toward its direction as if urging me to fly away with it to all the different lands it goes, brining these feelings of absolute joy, peace, spirituality, being one with yourself and being blissfully happy with who you are.
One of the purest forms of feeling that is diluted neither by people nor our mind.
Does experiencing nature in such purest forms get one to feel that?

Being closed doors, working on your desk, being part of a monotonous struggle of competeting with ourself, the world, working so hard in building our very own castle of dreams, of fantasy, of ambition; of our identity,does this make us loose ‘I’-who we really are and actually meant to be!!

Sitting here amidst concrete constructions, landscaped to perfection, experiencing the most natural form of nature and eyes looking farther into the distance not really seeing the artificial perfection but the imperfect, naturally formed rocks which are yet to be untouched by the artificial human hand in search of a superficial perfection. And no sight can be more beautiful like the casually thrown together rocks,the result of thousands of years of formation, the shadow of the sunset creating a perfect picture for an artist’s canvas.

With the only manmade technology that has enabled me to express the same, playing some of my favorite tracks being my lappy!!!

People talk about moments-perfect moments, this moment rates right on top, way high on the order -me, my laptop ,my songs, my weather=my perfect moment!!! One I wouldn’t trade for anything (at least now ;))

Leadership-an action not a position!!!!!

2008-02-06T02:07:00.000-08:00

"What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and if you have what it takes, you are rare and wondrous, and if you don’t, it can’t be faked no matter how hard you try.”
I read this above line somewhere and somehow feel it fits in how exactly things are, I was at this leadership conference, with almost every main guy who runs this company I work with, and it brought back a lot of old memories of similar conferences, with similar objectives and, to a large extent, people with similar personalities and the only difference with my past and this present was the age differences.
It struck to me that as leaders the styles they lead their teams with is not very different from the styles I know people who have lead their teams.
Experience-wise things might have been added-deleted-multiplied-divided from their personality traits but I don't know if this very experience, no. of years of being 'leaders', 'bosses', 'managers' has ACTUALLY made them better people or rather better 'leaders'. That's one question I ask myself, did they choose to be the kind of people, atleast, professionally? Well I saw them work as a team, manipulate others, genuinely appreciate others, be dominating, be dominated, also saw them get high and sing all night long as people, just as people with no one playing the role of a president, director, unit head blah blah.

Well here they were an entire range of people and I there was just this thought,

Does being part of a “leadership” team make you a “leader”??

Is one confusing their arrogance and aggressiveness as assertiveness?

Can all leaders be inspirational?

I have noticed that when one is younger with less experience, work-wise, with the will to learn, some change & some don’t and as one grows older the changes happen less and I guess one just becomes less receptive

Is the whole basic management principles lost in translation?

I was having this conversation with my cuz and he says a leader is like a mother to the children, a wife to a husband, a friend to a friend and I guess he hit a jackpot unknowingly-women make great leaders or atleast these qualities that are in born in women do!!;) Well atleast a whole lot of permutations and combinations and not one particular style and I guess that's one BIGG difference between a manager and a leader!!

Leadership is a dynamic learning process, one that should remain flexible with a good dash of optimism no matter what position one is in. And I can say this from my past and present experiences that good leaders make people feel that they’re at the very heart of things, not at the periphery. Everyone feels that he or she makes a difference to the organization. When that happens people feel centered and that gives their work meaning.

And it’s so essential for one to understand this and adopt and adapt methodologies to help them achieve that.

Retrospection is a beautiful thing!

2008-01-07T03:19:00.000-08:00

Turn of a new year, and something that Rahul Dravid said seems so apt for the moment-"Retrospection is a beautiful thing, You can walk down the memory lane with complete information of what needs to be changed to get the best result and do it in your mind."

I think retrospection and introspection go hand in hand especially around this time of the year its like someone once called it as an essential exercise for spiritual growth, I don’t know about the spiritual growth part but definitely believe,is important to refresh our mind+body+soul, the whole works I guess. And right now this is exactly how I feel, like the refresh button of my life has been hit. Maybe blame it on the mood around a new year.

While it’s important that you don’t try to delete history but it’s so important to erase the emotions that didn’t really let you feel good many a times, but never the memory just the feelings.

Going through past things always gives you this different feeling, fulfilling yet a lot more to achieve kinds. Sometimes the memory of things feel so near you could almost touch it but at the same time not that near either, it’s like an illusion, a game that our mind plays.

We play along with the game coz maybe it stems from our desperate wants, things we madly wish to be true but one that in reality might be difficult.

So while we are experiencing the magic of illusion its so important we use the learning to create something beautiful for the future

While you reminiscence the life gone by so far, old thoughts, history, experience and the learning that came out of the experience and how one used the knowledge to develop oneself, it feels like an era gone by.

It’s like coming full on a dotted circle, the spaces which are yet to be completed to make it a full circle.

Let's have a great year ahead of us!!

FREE BURMA!!!!!!

2007-10-04T02:09:00.001-07:00

"Close the borders, shut down the media, expel dissidents and restrict visitors"
-this is how an article by CNN begins,summing up the kind of actions that are being taken by the Burmese military junta.
Imagine this,over 20,000 monks,students,democratic party members & supporters,general public,women,children-unarmed,peacefully protesting for nothing more than for their basic right for freedom,for a democratic life,for a right to live an unoppressed life!!! Now imagine truck loads of army personnels opening fire,using tear gas,clubbing the protesters,conducting late night crack downs on the supporters.
Issuing warnings and threatening people of dire consequences,shutting down the internet,phone connections,manipulating the numbers of injured and killed,basically doing everything they possible can to suppress the voice of the people from spreading awareness about the situation in Myanmar.
Just by reading and seeing related pictures and videos on it, varied emotions pass through now imagine people who are living in such a country,experiencing such atrocities day in and day out!!I am sure most of us can just try to imagine but not really know how it exactly feels like,living in democratic countries like we do.
Just casually talking about it and sympathizing and tut tuting it is not going to help,its one so-called government vs the entire world and people who believe and respect Human Rights. So if we call ourselves that,its time to show it in whichever way we can,rembember billions/zillions/trillions of drops creates a water body and that's all the difference there is between wherever we are and Myanmar,so lets be that drop and get closer to the country,to improving Human Rights!

Wows! & Woes! of the Corporate World!!

2007-09-04T04:25:00.001-07:00

If there's one place where stability (if there’s such a thing!) comes at a 'major' price that’s the corporate world baby! In the short time I have been internally associated with it I know it’s a world apart from any, but at the same time a reflection of the society we live in or the kind of society we are becoming-extremely ambitious, extremely competitive, high living, high spending, booming economies, powerful media, decreasing global boundaries with an increasing virtual connectivity. A cauldron where all the mentioned come together to create a potent combination with the effects being a fluctuating balance between positives and negatives!

After being part of the team that created a platform to facilitate new dreams, new aspirations for so many young smart, confident, ambitious young people…being part of the same team which will be taking away that very platform, has been a learning process which has surprised, shocked and made me realize a lot of realities of this very ‘real’ world!!

Its truly a survival of the fittest, the more fit(in such scenarios)-the more unique skills you have, the better is your survival…Jungle rules which applies even now but in different forms and features!!

Life as we truly ‘should’ know!!!

Brand New Chapter!!

2007-07-25T05:06:00.001-07:00

Wow! its a different feeling doing something for the first time,especially if that something is going to play a major role in shaping your professional life.Its interesting how all the emotions have progressed from the 1st day till now,frustration-irritation-confusion-feeling good!! is this the 'infamous' settling in period or do-something-different hints i don't really know.However cliched,it is only with time I'll know.
But whatever it maybe I am sure something that will always be useful is the kind of learning I'll get from this experience,just have to see how many 'ups' i have to experience than downs in this roller-coaster!!
And the time goes tick tick 1..tick tick 2...tick tick 3....

In Memory of Manz...my crazy flamboyant cuz!!

2007-04-30T07:29:00.000-07:00

It's 30th today,3 days since my most flamboyant,crazy,stylish,lovable,freak of a cuz passed away in the way he always wanted to-driving at 180mph in the yet to be registered Skoda!!
I can never ever forget 'the' call at 7:15 a.m which will haunt me for a very longtime,the call that Krishna,my younger cuz made,"Amudhan has passed away in an accident"...7 words that still rings in my ears...first i thought it was some real sick joke being played and even after talking to others in the family i kept hoping it would be that.I can never forget 28th morning trying to figure out what to do,remembering all the crazy times together we have had,how i hadn't met him in a such a long time.Its surprising how i could think all these when still in shock!!.There are somethings about the human mind that one can never comprehend.
Even the time I spent in the flight,it felt so unreal,had no tears just the thoughts.The moment i put my foot down on the tarmac th worst thing that can ever happen,reality hit me like never before was actually in b'lore and one can never really tell how a person feels when he/she see's someone they shared crazy things with,had some amazing memories with weird conversations, lying motionless knowing that they you would never share it with them again,would never make any new memories again.
God Bless you Amudhan..may your soul rest in peace!!

Around 25 assignments...3 1/2 days left...sleepless nights..phew!!!

2007-03-26T05:02:00.000-07:00

Its the !@#$%^&*((*&^ time of the year..cant understand why they had to give all this work together at the last minute.Well m guessing with the kind of track record we have consistently maintained throughout the course for our now infamous 'nth-minute everything',let it be studying for exams,submitting reports(rather making reports;))presentations,book reviews!!!
Well I do think about changing this nasty habit and have been doing so since the last 10 yrs but i think have become genetically modified,a habit that's seeped into my DNA;)
But all said and done i still have the assignments, projects,reports,preparation for seminar,exams,practicals and they do have their deadlines,which i cannot afford to mess up...so..sigh!!.,,more sleepless nites,worse eating habits,more temper tantrums,a little whinnying here i come!!!...but m already loving it muhahahaha

About me!!

2007-03-16T02:51:00.001-07:00

cliched as it may sound my greeting to you guys have to be ,HEYYY AIESEC!!;)
Well finally i have got my account in nomadlife,been wanting to do that since the time i had started blogging.My name is Poornima,I got recruited into AIESEC Hyderabad ,India in 2003.After 3 years in AIESEC I have completed my cycle with heading towards the future;).It has been an amazing journey.Hope to get to know the other guys through this platform now.

About time....finally blogging again!!!

2007-03-15T22:56:00.000-07:00

Thank Gawd!! for determination...after 6 unfinished posts and zillion thoughts for sitting down to write one i finally decided its about time for a new post.
Since the last time i actually posted a blog so many things have happened and not!
Month of JAN
For starters didn't get on to the one team i really wanted to for the very reasons i wanted to be part of it,biggest learning?-don't be disappointed by what life brings to you,go ahead and create what you want!!

Month of Feb
1.Building on Plan B,making it constructive,aligning with my personal goals,style of working and the most important part of it all,being passionate about it!!

2.Its the growing-wiser,collecting-gifts,taking-hordes-out part of the year,that's right its b'day time,it was a very interesting bday and thanks to all the people who made it a very special one for me,my family my pals,love u guys!!!

3.V-day..hmmm..ehhh..well..hmmm lol had loads of fun ,it happened to be my one of my bday dinner days wid the gals,the hooked ones came wid the guys n the unhooked ones came looking for guys!! hehe na just kidding
4.Met new people,understood new things,was bit rude bit mean bit bitchy but all for fun;)

Month of March
1.Well its been nothing but internship,reports,assignments,projects,seminars,workshops,exams..phew exhausting but very exhilarating,the attainment of knowledge i must say!!
2.Will be finishing my internship @ Virtusa in a few days..hmmmm after more than 3 months of it.It has been such an amazing learning experience,working in a real corporate set-up,when people said "you never realise what you actually learn in @ till you actually get to implement it",m sure this is what they meant!
Things are just happening,dreams are just starting to be realised,guess i have to toast to all the people involved in this process of mine,starting from me;)

Nostalgic!!

2007-01-20T05:52:00.000-08:00

Listening to certain kind of songs does bring certain kind of memories,just when u think your above such things,just when u think u have moved on,just when u feel stronger and in control...you question your self about how far away u have come,how in control you really are..there is apprehension,a feeling of letting yourself down,confusion,a little annoyance.But i guess this is the true test,one on passing you will rise like the phoenix from the ashes.Only time and how you work things out will tell you where you stand emotionally,strong-middle-low!!

New beginning is it ?!?!?!?....who knows!!

2007-01-19T01:49:00.001-08:00

Hmmm...how things change in a fraction of a second,how realities change scenarios,its like ACT II-Scene 1...life changes its trajectory based on the results of previous experiences,what we learn from them and how we develop ourselves,our personalities,even attitudes..WOW!!when people say life teaches you a lot,its definetly not funny,life DOES teach you everything but what we realize and learn and act upon or incorporate is upto us.
Well i did realize this important lesson last night,i still don't know what directions things are going to take,but that's the most interesting part,the anticipation of things,the surprise element,the confusion,the dream like quality about things.the list goes on as we build on our experiences...NeYo;)

Jan 12th...Thursday..1230 hrs - 1500 hrs IST

2007-01-16T00:33:00.000-08:00

Human response to something one truly feels strong about,is such an interesting thing.You can prepare for things to some extent,but i feel the best response to things is when u don't do any extensive preparation,somethings are best said instantaneously without any analyzing and selecting the best response.
I've realized the best response to things are when u have a thorough basic understanding ,strong belief,and good timing.
Its has been one of the most interesting Q&A's I've been a part of,2 mins before its start was wee bit anxious but from the word go the feeling was pretty normal,and at the end of it happy.I am so glad to have done it,that too after all the coincidental incidents that happened the previous day,its serendipity-you either believe in it or don't:)

Introspection..self reflection & the works!!!

2007-01-10T01:43:00.000-08:00

Did some collective introspection today,i know introspection and collective don't go together but what with Fatty,my friend, and I doing something together, collective introspection was possible.Its so amazing what constructive feedback can do to one-self.Lots of thought go through your head,almost everything starting with whys,whats,hows,you get the answer to some and you don't get for some.Its confusing but maybe once we start self-reflecting on it we get ALL the answers.Its freaky but true,sometimes maybe even after introspection you don't really get the answers but thats bcoz we are blocking the thoughts we don't want to delve upon.
Its so easy for some people to live in their space,not an inch here or there.They get so defensive if they think someone's challenging their position,making them think or make them move out of their square,circle,rectangle,triangle whatever shape their space takes.Sigh!
But I haven't given up either,not in my nature to do it.Guess its time for some new strategies & action plans.
Get ready grey matter we have got work to do!!!

AAAUUUMMM!!!

2007-01-04T05:23:00.000-08:00

AUM or OM,the ancient sound signifying the universe.That's what i am saying right now,to get energise myself after just getting few hrs sleep in the last 3 days.I know the logic is to just sleep but when u cant and when your electronic masseuse's battery is dead this is what u do- chant,utter the most primal sound.Well is it working?man m too tired to tell....
Well its the physical tiredness and ache but emotionally i guess i feel exhilarated,just decided and took one of the most life changing actions so far in this life.Now its a wait,hear,communicate process.
Well anyways like there's hope after every tunnel,there's Goa after every struggle;)...hehahaha!!

Stung!!!

2006-12-28T02:54:00.001-08:00

People develop perpetual fear for something that has a profound effect on them,something that causes a lot pain,suffering,heartache and the works.Well after getting stung by the wasp or the bee or god only knows what it is...its very difficult to describe how i feel,being in pain n agony for sure,but add loosing your ATM card to the faulty money machine while on the way to the doc is indescribable,to top it all if the only source of getting money was the card with new yrs ahead and that pair of sinful black boots sitting on the rack waiting to be picked up...@#$%^&* $%^&!!
that's all there is to it
Happy holidays!!...grrrr

2006-12-28T02:54:00.000-08:00

My Maiden Voyage!!

2006-12-23T02:49:00.000-08:00

Everything in life has a first time,this is my first time in putting my thoughts down in the virtual world.As an individual diagnosed with 'too-much-thinking' syndrome what better way than putting it all down in a virtual journal.But can one write as much as one thinks?!?!Its a known impossibility but putting even some of those down is a profitable thing,ask the Booker prize winners and the innumerable authors and wannabe ones too.But i think its all about relating to someone or something, its all about finding your soul mates of thoughts.Its a veiled expression to reach out,have witnesses to make this life meaningful. Is your mind yours only,are your thoughts yours only? well that's an individual's choice!